Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
