pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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