she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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