i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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