Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

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(+93): View more from

woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol

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(810): View more from Michigan

He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me

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