i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
