The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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