Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
