Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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