i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
