i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want to walk on stilts...naked
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
