I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
