Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
