so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
