Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
