Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
