You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
