I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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