it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
