my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize