your thong is hanging out like whoa
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
