why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
