I just cut my nipple shaving
We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
