Porn is love you can see.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
