The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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