Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
