I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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