she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
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