I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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