also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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