yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
