How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
