Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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