Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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