Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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