The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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