Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
