Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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