i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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