My balls are so social today.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
