ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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