Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
