i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
