The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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