don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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