Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
