im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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