4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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