the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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