We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
