you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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