We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
