I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
