I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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