This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize