do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
