I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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