Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sober January is a disaster.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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