You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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