Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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