So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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