do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
