just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
