Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
