she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
