He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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