Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
